Amy Dubois Barnett's "Get Yours! The Girlfriend's Guide to Having Everything You Dreamed of and More" (available on www.amazon.com) shows women how to harness fear and accessorize with empowerment.

Hey, you. Do you suffer from benchmark syndrome? Waiting for the Prince in Prada to jumpstart your life? Disregarding achievements so that you can comfortably dwell on what you have not knocked of your to do list?? Honing your self deprecation skills as if you were studying for the SATs? Women of all ethnicities and social standing are afraid to push through the roadblock of inner critics and take those first few steps out of the (dis) comfort zone. In search of some out-of-the-box tools to catapult me into the realm of self appreciation, I whipped through Amy Dubois Barnett's book with the zeal of a crack addict.

A dynamic, type A (Barnett is a currently deputy editor of Harper's Bazaar and was one of America's first African American female editors to helm a mainstream magazine, Teen People) working mom, Barnett weaves anecdotes from her own obstacle ridden life with inspirational tips designed to help women shut off the negative voices (fueled by anxiety, self consciousness and people pleasing) looped in their psyches. She also includes tales of empowerment from celebrities like India Arie, Venus Williams and Gabrielle Union. Her secret? A simple set of tools concocted by tapping into the very fear that many women find so paralyzing. Explains Barnett, "Fear is a sign of personal growth, it motivates adventure. When I accepted who I was, it was like a drug — empowering me to appreciate the world and how I ran my life."

ATK: What motivated you to write this book? Why is fulfillment so elusive to women?
ADB: I was motivated as a journalist by women who want to change but don't know how to take that first step forward. We spend so much time cutting ourselves down; trying to live the paradigms of loving wife, mother, caring daughter, that we ignore what we really need to be complete. My trick? To accept how we are and love the core. Then, map out a plan and begin to own your life. When I funneled my fear into ambition and spiritual generosity, the despair dripped away.

ATK: When was the turning point when you decided to make changes and get out of your rut? Why is this so hard for women??
ADB: I lost my mother in my twenties, became depressed, gained weight, hated my job in finance and couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life. It suddenly dawned on me that nobody was going to swoop in and take charge of me. This epitome was life altering. I began to accept the ups and downs. The highs and lows of life teach us values. I became grateful for the range of experiences. Happiness takes a lot of work.

ATK: How do you get rid of old messages which demonize?? Any tricks?
ADB: You must ignore everyone's opinion of who you should be and own your life. Accept yourself. Become productive. Start a journal. Express your goals, professional and spiritual and tackle them. If you feel heavy, get to the gym and make a plan to get in shape. If you want a better job, figure out what you are good at and where your passions lie. If you feel bored, sign up for cooking pr painting classes. Have faith in yourself. Take charge. Invite challenge. Success is a mindset

ATK: Did books like "The Secret and Creative Spiritualization" impact you at all?
ADB: Not really. I always embraced the notion of living a life with intention. You get from the universe what you put out. If you walk with your head down, depressed, you will not invite happiness. If you walk with authority, even when you are crumbling inside, you are more attractive physically and spiritually. You will invite positive experiences.

— Amy Tara Koch